About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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