I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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