Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday

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(407): View more from Florida

I think I have a pornographic memory.

(954): View more from Florida

Don't you mean photographic?

(407): View more from Florida

No.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.

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(720): View more from Colorado

we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons

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(912): View more from Georgia

She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.

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(540): View more from Virginia

you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"

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(706): View more from Georgia

Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...

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