You're so nebulous sometimes
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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