Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
