I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
