You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
