People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
