I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Found your dick twin last night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
