you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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