I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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