i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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