Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
