I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize