some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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