Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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