it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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