We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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