Who wears a wallet chain?!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
