I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
