He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize