You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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