if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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