Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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