Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
