The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
