just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
