Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Michael Bay diarrhea
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize