Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
