some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
