he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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