no, he came in my armpit
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
