I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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