Nicole vs. Life
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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