He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
