can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
