haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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