I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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