Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
