I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
