he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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