I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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