You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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