Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize