Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
