He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize