she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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