I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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