She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
