I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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