why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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