I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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