In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
