i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
