does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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