the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
