Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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