I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
