I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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