yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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