so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm passing your future prison.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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