Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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