the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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