If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
